Friday, July 18, 2008

The Perspectiva Archive June 2015


After TV stations were forced to transmit their signals digitally, many Latino TV stations were forced off the air temporarily. They could not afford the high price of changing their analog (and often times obsolete equipment) into a digital format.

On the days before the switch, Latinos rushed to Wal Mart and Sears where they could get their flat screen TVs. Many payed the expected markup priced. “We cannot miss Don Francisco”…the brown people would say. “Mis novelas!...yo quiero mi novela en high def” Abuelas (grandmothers) would often demand!

But, when those TV’s made their ways to all of those Latino homes something happened. In some places the Spanish channel was off the air, while in others Spanish TV the programming was missing something.

There were no novelas or shows with young latinas with very little clothing.

Stations had decided, for their preservation, to cut costs and cutting off the production costs of the novelas would help them achieve this goal. The models were missing because the stations were cutting back on the model and agent fees usually payed to them.


Reruns of Friends and The Simpsons appeared. Dubbed in Spanish. Ay Caramba!

This went on for months, since the US economy was taking a long time to recover from the ugly 2008-2009 economic downturn, companies were not advertising and latinos were not buying. It became what seemed a cycle of hopeplessness.

Yet, slowly something started happening.

Slowly, libraries started getting an increase in DVD and book checkouts. This was slow at first. But as time went by, the increase on checkouts increased exponentially. Latinos were checking out DVD movies and with their trip to the library one or two books. It snowballed from there.

In two years, Latino literacy rates increased 50% for all age demographics at the same time, the dropout rate of 50 something percent dropped to 2%. School districts were getting 100% attendance rates and dramatic increases in test scores for Latino students. No one could figure it out. Some thought it was the educational initiatives of President Obama, but there wasn’t enough data. Latino college admissions tripled and kept climbing. Protests started happening because the federal government couldn’t provide enough scholarship money for talented students. Mexico and Venezuela, because of their influx of petrodollars (oil was at $210 a barrel)that stimulated their economies, started recruiting Latinos in the US.

By the time TV stations wanted to resume the novelas and introducing half naked women to their programming…

People got mad…
America had changed…

Friday, July 11, 2008

Cabron!



Latinos used the word cabrón to describe the following: A man who cheats, has been cheated on or does something so bad against another person that he deserves the name. The word can be used to describe something positive too. (See, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cabron )

Alex Rodriguez is a cabrón.
I’m proposing that the word, cabrón, be included in the Webster’s dictionary with his picture. It would go like this:

Cabrón (noun) i.e. Alex Rodriguez (insert picture here). Man who cheats on wife perpetuating the Latino stereotype of Latin lover and messing the image of all Latino men in the US.

Just like fans of Jason Giambi were wearing fake mustache’s to support him in getting a spot on the All Star game. Latinos across the US should take the following tips to “reform” him.

I propose that Latino baseball fans that attend a Yankees game do the following to “support” the rehabilitation efforts of Alex. This should happen until the end of the season.

1) Bring inflatable dolls to the stadium and wave them every time he goes to the bat!
Hey…he is a ladies man right! Adding the name of the women he’s been with wins you a beer.

2) Wear NY Yankees hats with “cuernos” (horns)
The hat must have Alex number and embroidery saying “Alex “cabrón” Rodriguez”.

3) Bring posters with pictures of cabras (goats).
Wave them high and proud. Every time he goes to the bat everyone should yell “baaa!- baaa!”.

4) Messages in the video screen.
Please, someone who’s got money can buy a spot on the video screen at a game and every time he goes to the bat these too messages should appear:
Alex…call Dr. Phill…no seas pendejo (don’t a dummy!)
Alex, planned parenthood called…

…and before you start thinking, who am I to write these things about poor Alex…here are my credentials. I’m simply a Latino man, that due to the actions of this pendejo, will cause ignorant people to put me on the same box as a cheater, Latin lover, liar, bad husband and father.

Gracias Alex! Cabrón!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

10 things Latinos need to stop doing with gold


I understand the sociological need for those that are trying to assert their new life of prosperity by creating an image of wealth. This is usually done through the purchase of expensive shinny things, mainly gold (oro!) However, mi gente….we’ve gone astray and we need to have a moratorium on this. These things are not in order of importance; we just need to stop all of them.


Here are the 10 things that we need to stop doing with gold.


  • Stop buying and wearing gold hoop earrings with your name!

To this moment I have not seen a single magazine, newscast, picture or celebrity wearing these. Who the F#$% came up with this? The larger the hoop the lower the IQ. Stay away from anyone wearing an earring with a name with more than 5 letters.



  • Gold should not be in your mouth!
    If you went to the dentist in the mid 70’s you have been grandfathered in. However, no one should be wearing gold on their teeth. New technologies can make your teeth look great! There is nothing great on looking at a grill or a front gold tooth unless you are the gangster Pedro Navaja or giving oral satisfaction to “Goldmember”.



  • Thou shall not put rims or gold trim in your car!
    Listen your mighty pimpness. No car manufacturer gives the option of accessories in gold. It makes your ride look Fugly!



  • Oro should not be in your belt buckle!
    Unless you have won the title match of Wrestlemania, belong to a Banda Mexican Group or won the championship belt from boxing. No! I advocate for latigazos (whippings) if you have a big barriga (gut) and you are wearing one of this horrible things.



  • No gold medallions or pendants larger than ½ an inch!
    Escucha Mr. T wanna be. Stop it! Not cool and nothing sexy about it. 10 latigazos if you have a hairy chest.



  • Only one gold chain please!
    I know that you took advantage of the Buy one, get one half off from the stand at the mall and you want to wear it all. Again, not even Mr. T does that anymore. Nothing screams “hey look at me, I have no sense of style, want you to rob me and I have little IQ than a bunch of chains around your neck. IQ level drops exponentially after 3 chains.



  • Gold decorations in your house!
    This includes lamps, frames, vases and even sculptures. If Tony Montana walked into your house would probably say…”What the f#$% is this? Go watch estreeme makeover and buy some real furniture from Sears you cockroach!”



  • Gold crosses, crucifixes or saints anywhere, anyplace!
    Psst…what would Jesus say? The man was the son of a carpenter, not a pimp or jeweler.



  • Men wearing more than one gold ring!
    Nothing screams queen than a man wearing more than one gold ring.
    2 rings= queen, 3 rings=flaming queen, 4 rings=raging queen, 5 rings=Celia Cruz wanna be queen.



  • Gold bracelets and watches (men) !
    Read GQ! Por favor…