Friday, February 22, 2008

Florida solutions


In the past week these news items appeared in the Tampa area.

1.Freddie the dog gets eaten by an alligator in a local urban park.


2.Sheriff Deputy dumps a paraplegic to the floor from his wheelchair and then searches him.

3.Child predators

These news are unique to Florida and require Florida style solutions.

We take convicted child predators and registered sex offenders and have them pick garbage at ponds. The Sheriff department will over see this program, particularly those deputies who have some anger issues. This will be seasonal from the months of March to September when temperatures and humidity increase to levels that rival Satan’s armpits. No mosquito repellant will be allowed. The child predators and sex offenders will be ordered and supervised to pick garbage around and inside the ponds.

These individuals will be fitted with electronic devices similar to those used for house arrests. These tracking devices will also have the capability of producing an electric charge to the testicles of the offending criminal if he dares to escape. Moreover, the devices release two specific scents: ham or chicken into the air. The offender gets to pick what to scent he or she will wear.

They will not be told that there are alligators in the pond.

Video footage of the alligator finishing a sorry excuse of a human being will be donated to “Xtreme video” TV shows and any profit from the shows will be used for programs that help victims of Sheriff and Child predator abuse.

That way justice is served, some get a laugh and everyone wins.

1 comment:

ex_sexoffender said...

how would you feel if your child kiss a 14 years old girl when he was 16 and land on the sex offender list.
this is NOT funny at all