Introducing a new holiday prior to Valentines Day!
(The comments below are meant to be of a humorous nature. If any of you take it seriously that is your thing and the world can change.)
On the day before Valentine's Day, I propose that we develop a holiday that is aimed at the physical and emotional needs of men. Valentines Day is a truly stressful day for us, since year after year, even if you have the economic means we are asked to raise the bar of sweetness and creativity. The campaign to create this day will be done via e-mail to other men. It is my belief that no man, gay or straight, would reject the gratification of receiving a BJ present, particularly before Valentines Day.
Why before Valentines Day?
As I was stressing out over what to get for Valentines Day, I realized that no other day is aimed at men. Father's day is for fathers and it’s trivialized by ugly ass ties, shirts, hats and tools. These are items that benefit retailers and provide little if temporary physical relief. All the other holidays are neutral. Only Valentines Day....with its claims of celebrating love, friendship or romance favors for the most part women. What did you get for Valentines Day that you truly wanted? If you got “some”, good for you!...but, what was the present?...was it something you really wanted?
Do women deserve Valentines Day?
Absolutely! Women have to deal with more than your male testosterone driven cerebellum can possibly imagine. Don't be cheap, unromantic or a troglodyte. Invest on Valentines day. Even though you are advocating for a new holiday, respect what is already there. Honor your loved one with a present anyway.
But, what about BJ day?
BJ day is a voluntary campaign for men to suggest to women (or male partners) that a BJ is a good thing, a guarantee that if you get the BJ, YOU, will do your best to provide the best Valentine day gift possible. Who wouldn't? Are you that vain, selfish and low that you can’t reciprocate?
What are the benefits of BJ day?
Besides the physical?...lets see...most married men would be getting something they haven't had in years. Those in relationships will have another reason to be joyful. Those that are single will be forced to improve their game (unless you can self BJ which...hey...this is about companionship not self gratification). With the implementation of a BJ day most men would go and get a Valentines day gift without the stress, guilt or bitterness that a Valentines day gift can only create. Remember the flowers that you bought? Where are they now? BJ day would improve our economy, since I could theorize that those who benefit from BJ day could become more creative and extravagant on their gifts.
Stick it to the retailers!
Retailers and commerce (aka the man) love any opportunity they can use to take our money. Valentines Day is one of those days. With the pretext of celebrating the life of some obscure saint or some rug rat angel like creature with wings that goes around doing arrow shoot bys on Valentines Day, is the perfect tool for retailers to make money. Romance and Love should and must be celebrated everyday not when Hallmark, Victoria Secret, Walmart or Sears tells us to do it. With BJ day your Valentines Day would be more tolerable and honest. Besides, what other holiday do you know that tries to capture a feeling or emotion has been instituted in the 20th century and who could be sponsored by an ex-president (Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky). X-mas, Valentines Day, Mothers, Fathers all of those days are old and played out. It is time to look forward and make it personal. Relationships can grow from this. Moreover, and most importantly, I doubt that retailers can market BJ day. Can you imagine the ads? The posters?
So...if you think that this is funny or there is a grain of truth to this, send it to someone else who thinks like you. Don't even think of sending it to your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or possible hook up unless you are truly sure he or she can be committed to celebrate BJ day.
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