The Perspectiva Archive June 2015

After TV stations were forced to transmit their signals digitally, many Latino TV stations were forced off the air temporarily. They could not afford the high price of changing their analog (and often times obsolete equipment) into a digital format.

On the days before the switch, Latinos rushed to Wal Mart and Sears where they could get their flat screen TVs. Many payed the expected markup priced. “We cannot miss Don Francisco”…the brown people would say. “Mis novelas!...yo quiero mi novela en high def” Abuelas (grandmothers) would often demand!

But, when those TV’s made their ways to all of those Latino homes something happened. In some places the Spanish channel was off the air, while in others Spanish TV the programming was missing something.

There were no novelas or shows with young latinas with very little clothing.

Stations had decided, for their preservation, to cut costs and cutting off the production costs of the novelas would help them achieve this goal. The models were missing because the stations were cutting back on the model and agent fees usually payed to them.

Reruns of Friends and The Simpsons appeared. Dubbed in Spanish. Ay Caramba!

This went on for months, since the US economy was taking a long time to recover from the ugly 2008-2009 economic downturn, companies were not advertising and latinos were not buying. It became what seemed a cycle of hopeplessness.

Yet, slowly something started happening.

Slowly, libraries started getting an increase in DVD and book checkouts. This was slow at first. But as time went by, the increase on checkouts increased exponentially. Latinos were checking out DVD movies and with their trip to the library one or two books. It snowballed from there.

In two years, Latino literacy rates increased 50% for all age demographics at the same time, the dropout rate of 50 something percent dropped to 2%. School districts were getting 100% attendance rates and dramatic increases in test scores for Latino students. No one could figure it out. Some thought it was the educational initiatives of President Obama, but there wasn’t enough data. Latino college admissions tripled and kept climbing. Protests started happening because the federal government couldn’t provide enough scholarship money for talented students. Mexico and Venezuela, because of their influx of petrodollars (oil was at $210 a barrel)that stimulated their economies, started recruiting Latinos in the US.

By the time TV stations wanted to resume the novelas and introducing half naked women to their programming…

People got mad…
America had changed…

Cabron!

Latinos used the word cabrón to describe the following: A man who cheats, has been cheated on or does something so bad against another person that he deserves the name. The word can be used to describe something positive too. (See, http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cabron )

Alex Rodriguez is a cabrón.
I’m proposing that the word, cabrón, be included in the Webster’s dictionary with his picture. It would go like this:

Cabrón (noun) i.e. Alex Rodriguez (insert picture here). Man who cheats on wife perpetuating the Latino stereotype of Latin lover and messing the image of all Latino men in the US.

Just like fans of Jason Giambi were wearing fake mustache’s to support him in getting a spot on the All Star game. Latinos across the US should take the following tips to “reform” him.

I propose that Latino baseball fans that attend a Yankees game do the following to “support” the rehabilitation efforts of Alex. This should happen until the end of the season.

1) Bring inflatable dolls to the stadium and wave them every time he goes to the bat!
Hey…he is a ladies man right! Adding the name of the women he’s been with wins you a beer.

2) Wear NY Yankees hats with “cuernos” (horns)
The hat must have Alex number and embroidery saying “Alex “cabrón” Rodriguez”.

3) Bring posters with pictures of cabras (goats).
Wave them high and proud. Every time he goes to the bat everyone should yell “baaa!- baaa!”.

4) Messages in the video screen.
Please, someone who’s got money can buy a spot on the video screen at a game and every time he goes to the bat these too messages should appear:
Alex…call Dr. Phill…no seas pendejo (don’t a dummy!)
Alex, planned parenthood called…

…and before you start thinking, who am I to write these things about poor Alex…here are my credentials. I’m simply a Latino man, that due to the actions of this pendejo, will cause ignorant people to put me on the same box as a cheater, Latin lover, liar, bad husband and father.

Gracias Alex! Cabrón!

10 things Latinos need to stop doing with gold

I understand the sociological need for those that are trying to assert their new life of prosperity by creating an image of wealth. This is usually done through the purchase of expensive shinny things, mainly gold (oro!) However, mi gente….we’ve gone astray and we need to have a moratorium on this. These things are not in order of importance; we just need to stop all of them.

Here are the 10 things that we need to stop doing with gold.

• Stop buying and wearing gold hoop earrings with your name!

To this moment I have not seen a single magazine, newscast, picture or celebrity wearing these. Who the F#$% came up with this? The larger the hoop the lower the IQ. Stay away from anyone wearing an earring with a name with more than 5 letters.

• Gold should not be in your mouth!
  If you went to the dentist in the mid 70’s you have been grandfathered in. However, no one should be wearing gold on their teeth. New technologies can make your teeth look great! There is nothing great on looking at a grill or a front gold tooth unless you are the gangster Pedro Navaja or giving oral satisfaction to “Goldmember”.

• Thou shall not put rims or gold trim in your car!
  Listen your mighty pimpness. No car manufacturer gives the option of accessories in gold. It makes your ride look Fugly!

• Oro should not be in your belt buckle!
  Unless you have won the title match of Wrestlemania, belong to a Banda Mexican Group or won the championship belt from boxing. No! I advocate for latigazos (whippings) if you have a big barriga (gut) and you are wearing one of this horrible things.

• No gold medallions or pendants larger than ½ an inch!
  Escucha Mr. T wanna be. Stop it! Not cool and nothing sexy about it. 10 latigazos if you have a hairy chest.

• Only one gold chain please!
  I know that you took advantage of the Buy one, get one half off from the stand at the mall and you want to wear it all. Again, not even Mr. T does that anymore. Nothing screams “hey look at me, I have no sense of style, want you to rob me and I have little IQ than a bunch of chains around your neck. IQ level drops exponentially after 3 chains.

• Gold decorations in your house!
  This includes lamps, frames, vases and even sculptures. If Tony Montana walked into your house would probably say…”What the f#$% is this? Go watch estreeme makeover and buy some real furniture from Sears you cockroach!”

• Gold crosses, crucifixes or saints anywhere, anyplace!
  Psst…what would Jesus say? The man was the son of a carpenter, not a pimp or jeweler.

• Men wearing more than one gold ring!
  Nothing screams queen than a man wearing more than one gold ring.
  2 rings= queen, 3 rings=flaming queen, 4 rings=raging queen, 5 rings=Celia Cruz wanna be queen.

• Gold bracelets and watches (men) !
  Read GQ! Por favor…

A confederate flag

Every day I drive the same monotonous ride.
SUV’s and road. Not much to see.

Then, this morning, like hearing a needle scratch a record, I saw a huge confederate flag flying on the side of the road.

When I mean huge, I mean f#$^ing huge!

As big as a bus!

It felt uncomfortable as if this was being imposed on me. Then again, so do the bill board ads advertising needle less and painless vasectomies. (I’m still wondering what Star Trek technology they used for this.)

The non profit group responsible for this flag says that it is part of a memorial to educate people about the civil war.

Maybe. Even though the place where the flag is being flown is not a civil war site.

I don’t see this flag as a sign of oppression either.

The confederate flag looked cool on the General Lee driven by the dukes of hazard. I still want that car! Some ignorant people used the confederate flag as a symbol of intolerance when in reality it represents a unifying symbol of a people (southerners) who disagreed with their government so strongly that they took arms and fought. That is to be respected. Lets not get into the slavery thing either…the south was for it everyone knows that, but the north although more tolerant was not too happy with having black people come over either. Slavery was not the primary reason for the civil war. Check your history.

Then again, there are thousands of Toyota Corollas running around Tampa with Puerto Rican flags “educating” people about the Puerto Rican status. As you can see the waiving of a flag doesn’t really bother me. Puerto Ricans have placed the Puerto Rican flag on every single object imaginable to man. The highlight for me was last year when during the Christmas season I went to the flea market and found nativity themed napkins with, you guessed it, a big Puerto Rican flag in the background. I didn’t know that Maria, Jose, Jesus, the wise men and even the animals were Puerto Rican. The only three items that I haven’t seen the Puerto Rican flag on are: condoms, tampons and toilet paper. I’m sure there is a loco thinking about placing the PR flag on one of these items right now.

However, there is a strong similarity between the confederate flag I mentioned and those Puerto Rican flags.

They are made in China.

The Primary en Puerto Rico

To think that the results of the Puerto Rican democratic primary are a reflection of the same processes that happen in the mainland and representative of the US latino vote is simply naïve.

a pendejismo.

Let me put it this way…

The vast majority of politicians in Puerto Rico come from well to do families and more than often are individuals (men) who enter the political arena out of a desire for power and prestige. True there are few who have ethics and think of governmental work as a priviledge or even a calling to serve el pueblo and la gente (the people). However, the vast majority don't. Puerto Rican political party identification is something that is very strong in Puerto Rican culture and would scare the average US mainland citizen. Its vocal, its rough its hardcore. This behaviors and views are passed on from generation to generation. Those in the population who are not very well educated or up to date in the issues are easily persuaded and manipulated.

Of 4+ million people living in the island only about 350,000 people voted on the primary and regardless of those votes, the delegates had made up their minds before the ballots were counted because for many of those delegates there are loyalties and connections that they could not walk away from. The “popular vote” is to give the appearance of an organized democratic process. The Obama campaign knew what was going on and lacked the connections that the Clinton campaign had. This gets lost and diluted on all the excitement of results.

The average person sees both candidates as politicians that come to the island, do their dog and pony show and then leave (oh, and they do raise money there too!) Puerto Rico, its status, its people and its economic reality is not really a worry. Why should they since Puerto Ricans themselves can figure out their own status.

Here is something to think about: In Puerto Rico there is not a single black politician in office. There are women in office, but no blacks. Its as if we bypassed the conversation of race altogether. I don’t remember, ever, having seen or heard of one black politician. Why would Puerto Ricans support a black candidate when they themselves have not done this at a local level? hmmm.

Unfortunately, these are cosas that we are not supposed to talk about.

Shhhhh!

American Idol

This blog is dedicated to Simon, Paula and Randy...

I don't like your show.

It was cute and flashy once. Now its just fuckin annoying.

If the other "idols" were that good, then how come they are not real "idols". I mean if they were Idols shouldn't they be on the news all the time. When was the last time I heard about clay aiken? he was made of such a huge deal because he was just as talented as the "black guy", wuz his name?...Where is he now?

You want me to believe on your show. Here is what I propose: Have Mariachi, Opera and Jazz night. Mariachi because it is hard to sing in a different language, sound convincing by attitude, voice and message while a barrage of trumpets assault you from behind to make the point of the song. I want to see Paula judging that!

Opera? Hey, why not. The contestants are frickin american idols. which will mean that in order to succeed they need to be challenged and overcome that challenge. I think Puccini would do it.

...oh yeah and no wuzzy "modernizing arrangements" no...sing it in italian and with passion.

and of course Jazz. this one is simple. Jazz is the original american artform. american artform, american idol. Not to mention that it is difficult and it would challenge the poor bastards that try to find quick fame through a process of self discovery bombarded by constant assaults to their skill, integrity and self esteem. Yes. Jazz would be the ultimate test.

and Ryan Seacrest? Can someone just throw a rock at this bastard! You want to make this show a hit? Bring Steve Harvey, Bring Adam Sandler bring people that truly love music and will be honest. I would love to see madonna there, hosting and tear another a-hole to an anorexic looking chick that can sing. I would love to see Bob Dylan throwing a shoe at some guy that butchered his song.

...and how come none of the contestants have never done hip hop like Tribe called quest or The roots?

I smell conspiracy!

Caring Men Are Happier Than Traditional 'Macho' Men

Caring Men Are Happier Than Traditional 'Macho' Men, Study Suggests

ScienceDaily (Apr. 30, 2008)

My props to profesor Miguel Arciniega for getting to the root of this. Finally there is empirical evidence of something that women can point out to their men whenever they come up with some trogloditic expression. Caballeros 0r gentlemen are more caring and happy. Machistas are just a step away from having a fricking heart attack or being stabbed by their wives in their sleep.

The thing is that every man, gay or straight has some "machismo" in him. Its genetic. Add testosterone and the fact that we are missing one rib and it gets worst. I like research, but I also think that research that is not applied into action is just caca.

So, to help my homy Miguel I've come up with a few applications on how to use the Macho-Caballero scale.

For marketing cars

Caballeros (1 to 4) drive VW Beetles and Mazda Miatas

Machos (6 to 10) drive Hummers with a large phalic symbol in the hood and shinny rims and trim. man like shinny. They like rubbing the knob of the shifter.

For eating

Caballeros watch their diet, exercise and keep it balance

Machos will eat corn pops cereal with a beer and get the surprise toy first.

For sports

Caballeros will occasionally watch and discuss a game.

Machos do not know the months of the year, but are guided by the seasons of sports.

For dating

Caballeros engage women on conversation that is stimulating

Machos will go through a variety of short and long term meaningless relationships only to find out some time that they are alone and be terrified or will meet Pedro, the latino papi that will make them be in touch with their "real" manhood.

For music

Caballeros: will listen to women musicians

Machos: will masturbate to the covers of the cd's those women musicians.